Beautiful Day

Today, I felt great. Looking back, I would have to say this has been one of the best days since my first chemo treatment. My body felt normal. My energy level was up. It was just refreshing. On top of this great feeling, the weather was beautiful. I am not sure that it is possible to feel bad on a spring day like today.

Around 11:00, I left the house to runs some errands. Today was a perfect day for driving. I turned on some country music and put the windows down for a relaxing ride. First, I made a few stops for my mom. Then, I paid a visit to the ball diamonds. Even though we did not have practice today, I wanted to see the conditions of the field. I cannot wait for our first game next Wednesday.

After visiting the fields, I stopped by Jerome High School to get a look at their new baseball diamond and batting complex. I spent some time just walking around the area. For an onlooker, I am sure that I looked quite bizarre. But, for me, it was enjoyable just to get out of the house and enjoy the weather.

During the evening, I went out to eat with the guys from the lobbying firm. We have a group of guys in their low and mid twenties who stay close. They had been trying to get together with me for a little while now. Luckily, today worked out great.

Since shaving my head completely bald, my hair has started to grow back. A little strange, huh? Well, I figured it would definitely be gone by now. I guess I will monitor it over the next couple of days. By the weekend's end, I will likely shave it down again.

Finally, I received a box of goodies from my church. Inside the box, I found letters from young Bible study students. I want to share two of my favorites. First, one little boy wrote, "Chris, I hope you feel a lot better and you get well soon. Don't be scared because God loves you and will take care of you." Then, the best one had a big picture on the front and the little boy wrote, "Get soon well... I said that wrong."

Good People

Good news. My port checked out clean. However, it was easier said than done.

Dr. Paul checked out my surface infection. Right now, he believes that my body has simply rejected some of the sutures. I forget if I mentioned this earlier, but several times I have had small pieces of suture come out of the incision area. Anyways, as long as the infection does not get wider, I should be set. If for some reason it does get wider, we will first go to an antibiotic. As a last resort, we will go into surgery.

After looking at the infection, Dr. Paul moved on to my port. Rightly so, my mom was insistent on getting his blessing for the port before it was used again. In order to get this blessing, he had to ensure that the port could flush out. So, he took out a set of supplies and got to work. I laid down and looked way. He inserted a needle into my port and went to work. Everything checked out fine. Afterwards, I mentioned to my mom that the insertion of the needle hurt worse than usual. She laughed and said that the needle looked bigger than usual. Makes sense.

I love my surgeon, Dr. Paul Strahdata (I need to get the correct spelling for his last name.) When going through any medical process, it is important to have a positive, caring staff taking care of you. Dr. Paul epitomizes these characteristics. His smile and positive attitude keeps a situation at ease. At the same time, he does an excellent job explaining medical procedures and situations. I am thankful that there are smart people like Dr. Paul to care of people like me!

When I got home from my doctor's appointment, I ate some lunch and took a nap. In the middle of my nap, my mom woke me up with a phone call from my little brother Cory, who is in Florida on a high school baseball trip. He told me one of the classiest stories I have ever heard about a pro-athlete.

Today, the team had an off-day, so Cory and my dad met up with my grandparents to watch an Cleveland Indians' spring training game. After the game, they went out to eat at restaurant near the park. They were seated at a table in the back corner of the restaurant. As they were finishing their meal, a large man with a goatee walked up to their table. At first, the man asked everyone about their meal, so my dad thought that he was a manager from the restaurant. However, he soon pointed to my dad's shirt and asked if they were Indians fans. (My dad was wearing a Wickman's Warriors T-Shirt. Bob Wickman is a famous pitcher for the Indians. The t-shirts have been sold with all profits going to Cleveland Indians charities.) So, at this point, my dad is sitting there dumbfounded and stunned. Soon, he realizes that the man is Bob Wickman! The conversation continues for a few minutes. Bob goes on to thank them for their support of the charity and wishes them a good day. Before leaving the restaurant, Cory approached Bob about getting a picture. As you can assume, Bob put his arm around Cory, and my dad took the picture.

Now, let me put this into perspective. Again, they were sitting in the back corner of the restaurant. They were not clearly visible. My dad still does not know how Bob saw his shirt. He thinks that he either saw it through the window as he walked to the front door of the restaurant or when going to the bathroom. Either way, what a class act. I cannot think of too many professional athletes who would go up to a table of fans and thank them for their support. A lesson for us all: never forget the people who have helped you get where you are.

Starting Uphill

Thankfully, I started my uphill swing today. It's an odd feeling. I almost feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted from my shoulders. Now, I have the worst part of the cycle behind me, and I can live a little bit more until next week.

My day started off on an interesting note. After my mom left for work, I let them dogs back into my room. In the process, I left the door to my bedroom open. As usual, they climbed on to my bed. Well, in the midst of my sleep, the dogs started growling. It wasn't a normal growl- it sounded more defensive. Since they woke me from my sleep, I was bit alarmed. My first instinct was that someone they did not know was walking up the stairs. Well, when I looked around the corner, I saw a group of cats. It turns out that my mom left the door to the garage open, and the cats got inside the house. I managed to pick up two cats and throw them out the front door. Meanwhile, Cody and Candy conveniently chased the other two cats from the upstairs through the family room and kitchen before finally ending in the garage.

Now that I think about it, my day was anticlimactic after waking up ... For the most part, I was making phone calls and sending emails regarding school board issues. Again, I ate carrots and dip along with pizza rolls. During the afternoon, I had an old high school friend visit. As always, it is nice to see folks. Then, I went to baseball practice from 6 to 8.

One final note. I was asked to serve as the Chairperson for the Dublin- Relay for Life. All proceeds benefit the American Cancer Society. What an honor. I was humbled by the request. I could have never imagined that I would be sitting here with cancer. But even more, I could have never imagined that I would be in a position to help the cause by serving as the chairperson. Like I said at the begining of this process, I feel that I am in this position for a reason. I am thankful for my opportunity on the school board and the platform it has given me to help others.

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Blah

What a miserable day. Don't get me wrong- today was better than yesterday. All in all, I started to feel better. Still, the sores persist in my mouth. My tongue looks like it has been hit by random drops of acid. In the place of the acid drops, you will find sores. A pleasing thought, huh?

When I go through my roughest days, I do not have the concentration to pick up a book. Right now, I would really like to read. Day time television is not for me. Within a couple of days, I should start to regain that concentration. I have decided that I am going to start using my day time to be somewhat productive (more to come on this later). Although I am stuck to my bed most of the time, I need to be accomplishing something.

Thankfully, baseball season starts in a little over a week. During the day, I will be able to watch Major League Baseball games. At night, I will be able to coach my team's practices or games. Everyone keeps telling me to make sure I take it easy on my body. Trust me, I am definitely resting my body. However, baseball gives me a release from this whole situation. To be honest, if I was not feeling well, I would only get worse by not attending one of our games. Even if I barely have a voice and lack the ability to stand for long periods of time, I want to be sitting on a bucket with the boys. Heck, if need be, they can put me in wheelchair and strap an IV pole alongside it.

Today, I managed to eat two meals. Because of the sores, I am limited to the types of food that I eat right now. When I find something that works, I run with it until the craving goes away. Needless to say, I ate the same food for each meal: carrots and broccoli with vegetable dip and homemade pizza rolls. In between meals, I continue with my liquids. I have found that dairy products help coat the sores for a little while, so I drank a couple glasses of milk during the day.

Finally, I am visiting Dr. Paul on Wednesday to check out my port. I have no idea what is going to happen. One moment, it seems that I will be getting this port taken out and replaced with a new one. Then, the next moment, it seems that I will stay the course. Obviously, I would enjoy one less surgery, but I have to say that my schedule is pretty open if they want to cut me open again!

The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear him; He will also hear their cry and save them.

Psalm 145:18-19

Sleep and Ice Chips

My mouth is killing me. The burning sensation is back and in full effect. Last time, I could not really see sores developing. Prior to starting my treatment, I was told by doctors, nurses, and cancer survivors that sores can develop as a side effect of the chemotherapy treatment. Well, this time, I can see at least a couple developing on my tongue. At this point, I do not really care to look further into my mouth to see more...

To stop the pain, I have primarily been doing two things. First, I try to sleep as much as possible, so I do not have to be awake for the pain. This seems to be the best solution. Then, when I am awake, I suck on ice chips. I have a prescription mouthwash, but every time I try to use it, the wash makes me gag. Needless to say, I am counting down the hours until the pain stops.

Bald and Burning

Well, it was bound to happen sooner than later. The burning feeling has taken over my mouth. It started to occur during the later part of the evening. There really isn't much I can do to stop the pain. More than anything, I just have to wait it out. I have a few methods to temporarily reduce the pain, but nothing long lasting. It even stings just drinking water.

After waking up this morning, I had Patty Frazier completely shave my head. I could care less about the appearance of my head. (Heck, I got bigger things to worry about than my hair.) I did not realize that a normal head of hair keeps your head warm. Obviously, my head gets cold with the winter weather. But, I could not have imagined that it would get cold just laying up against my pillows in bed. Warm weather cannot come soon enough.

When I got home from getting my head shaved, I got a surprise phone call from Sandy Hauge. She and her youngest son, Nate, stopped by the house with a "Takehomasak" from Steak n' Shake. Nate made it a "happy meal" by throwing-in a ITunes gift card. It will probably turn out to be my last whole meal for a day or so.

I went to baseball practice from 3:00-5:00. It provided a nice relief from my bed. Then, later in the evening, Kyle and Megan Lindberg, the future Mrs. Findley, paid me a surprise visit. (Kyle came back into town from Elon for a teaching interview.) Over the course of an hour or so, we caught up on my situation as well as their wedding plans. As a side note, Megan even baked me some cookies.

For now, I am back to sucking on ice chips.

Good News and Bad News

I am nervous. Last week, Dr. Moore said that I would likely experience my worst symptoms in the days immediately following my chemotherapy. If you remember, I experienced a delay last time around- days three and four were the worst. So far, I have just felt experienced that "ugh" feeling along with some tired spells. Sooner than later, I know that burning sensation in my mouth will be back.

This morning, my mom woke me up by letting the dogs jump on the bed. From the tone of her voice, I could tell that she had some good news. She had been on the phone discussing my x-ray results with the nurse from Dr. Moore's office. The images showed that my port seemed to be fully in tact (more to come on that later). By chance, the images were also able to show the tumors in my chest. Already, the masses have decreased from just one treatment!

After receiving my neulasta shot, I went next door to the office of the Doctor Paul, who has performed all of my surgeries. He was not working today, so I saw another doctor from the office. It turns out that I have a localized, surface infection over the incision where he inserted my port. It is possible that the infection could be below the skin. As a result, it could be causing the problem with my port. We are suppose to monitor the infection over the weekend. Next week, I may be headed back into surgery to remove the port out of the left side of my chest and insert a new one on the right side of my chest. I know it sounds bad, but at this point, I just find this comical.

Last time, I had trouble eating after my treatment. However, this time around, I am not having as much trouble. On the way home from the hospital, I got a tuna sub from Subway. Later in the afternoon, Mrs. Schultz (Griffin's mom) stopped by with smoothies from Planet Smoothie. She was over by Polaris, so she made a stop for me. (Again, I could not be more thankful for the support and thoughtfulness of everyone!) Anyways, I had two smoothies this afternoon. For dinner, I managed to eat a couple pieces of pizza. I am about to get some carrots and vegetable dip.

Tomorrow, I think I am going to take the plunge and just shave my head clean. My hair is not falling out as quickly as it was last week, but sooner than later, its going to be bare. My hair cutter will be leaving town for spring break this week, so I figure I will have her do the honors before leaving town tomorrow. This should be a sight to see!

The Lord watches over you
The Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm-
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121:5-8

Media Update

The Dublin Villager ran a cover story regarding the two charities to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society in my name. Likewise, the reporter provided the public with an update on my condition. I knew the story was going to run, but I did not know it would appear on the front page. Needless to say, it shocked my mom when she picked up the paper and saw my face staring back at her. Here are the links:

Dublin Villager: Update on BOE President's Battle
Dublin Villager: Golf Tourney Slated in Valentine's Honor

Round 2 Complete

Chemo started at 8:30 this morning. Well, it was suppose to start around that time. The nurse began the morning by poking into my port. Before the chemo could start, blood needed to be drawn. Well, unfortunately, we could not get the port to work. For one reason or another, the blood was not withdrawing. She spent fifteen minutes trying different methods but to no avail. As a result, the nurse drew the blood by picking my left ring finger and squeezing it every few seconds. After squeezing the blood out, she would scrape my finger with the tube to collect the blood. What an annoying, but humorous experience. It could not have been fun for her either.

Thankfully, all of my counts were at appropriate levels. So, we started an IV in my left forearm. Because the vein was much more sensitive than the port, the treatment took longer today. At one point, my vein started burning because the intake of the drug was just too strong. You could see my vein getting irritated from my wrist to my elbow- quite a sight. Anyways, the nurse had to raise the amount of saline solution that was entering my vein in order to stop the pain.

Today, the senior citizens outnumbered me about 25 to 1 in the chemotherapy room. Next to me, an older gentleman was receiving his treatment. His wife would check on him periodically through out the morning. When she came in the second time, she stopped to talk to me. Her first words were: "God Bless You. You are too young for this." She went on to ask my age and discuss my situation. I am guessing that she said, "God Bless You" anywhere from three to four times. Just amazing.

After the chemo was complete, I had to go get x-rays on my chest. Obviously, I did not expect x-rays to be apart of the agenda for the morning. The intent of the x-rays were to identify any problems with the port. It is possible that the nurse just stuck to the outside of her intended target, but we did not want to take any chances. At this point, I would not be surprised to hear that I need to go back into surgery to fix the port. I am hoping to find out further information tomorrow after I receive my shot of Neulasta around 11:00.

For the greater part of the afternoon, I spent my time returning emails and phone calls regarding school board issues. Around 4:30/5:00, I settled down for a two hour nap. It took me a little while to finally get to sleep. Candy, my dog, always jumps up and sleeps with me. However, as of late, she has developed a snoring habit- much like everyone else except my mom and I in this house! Anyways, I got some rest. Overall, I have felt decent during the day and evening. I expect to hit the wall tomorrow, but you never know.

"Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude,
for the battle is not yours, but God's"

2 Chronicles 20:15

Good Question

Over the past couple of months, I have spoken to numerous people regarding my battle with cancer. Often, I get some interesting questions. Tonight, I received my most interesting question yet…

The reporter from the Columbus Monthly started talking about my experience during chemotherapy. She noted that I described two different groups of people in the chemotherapy room- the first group being the senior citizens and the second being the 30 to 40 year old moms. I do not remember her exact words, but she finally framed the question, “Does the room and surroundings make you think about your mortality?”

It took me a minute to answer. I was somewhat taken back. I have never really thought about my mortality. Honestly, I do not think she meant to ask the question in a way that would raise fears. But, it was nonetheless thought provoking- in a good way. Like I have said from the beginning, I trust in God’s plan. I told her: “I continue to trust in my faith. When my time comes, I know where am I am going, and I am not fearful of that time. Right now, I am taking things one day at a time- making way.”

As I drove home from the meeting, I gave the question a little bit more thought. I continue to have a positive outlook, but my outcome is not a guarantee. But, bigger than my situation, I started thinking about the condition of others in the chemotherapy room. They say Hodgkin’s disease is the “good cancer.” As I started to think further, I came to the realization that not all the folks in that room have the same prognosis as me. Their cancers are much more likely to accompany tougher, longer battles followed by lower survival rates.

When my mom was talking to the reporter the other night, she made the rhetorical comment, “Is it hard to take your child into a chemotherapy room? You bet.” At the time, I did not think much of her words. Now, as I think about the bigger situation, I understand her thoughts, fears, and concerns. She is taking me into a room that often serves as the last stage before death for some people.

For me, I do not see negativity in that room. I see hope. I see help. I see my road to recovery.

Maybe I am naïve. Maybe I am just blocking out things I do not want to face or do not want to know. I guess my faith gives me an inner peace. It gives me the strength to walk into that room without fear. It gives me the strength to sleep at night without worrying about tomorrow. It gives me the strength to somehow find the good in what seems like such a bad situation.

The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

"Don't Stay Up Too Late!"

So, before my mom goes to bed tonight, she walks into my room and says, "Don't stay up too late!" I looked at her sarcastically and replied, "Yeah, good idea- because its not like I am going to be sleeping for the next couple of days!" There really is not much preparation for chemotherapy.

Today was exhausting. I have not really pushed my limits over the past couple of weeks, but today was close.

First, my day started off on a high note. This morning, I met with a representative from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society for coffee at the Starbucks at Easton. After talking for a little while, we went back to his office. Wednesday is the designated day for their staff meeting, so I had the chance to meet all the employees and discuss their roles. In addition, we spent a little while talking about my position on the school board as well as my goals to help raise awareness and dollars. As I walked away from the office, I felt motivated. I had just left a room full of people who have committed their lives to helping cancer patients and survivors like me. Even more, a majority of the employees were no older than their late 20's.

After my meeting at the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, I stopped in at work (for 2006)- The Ohio Republican Party. As usual, it was nice to catch up with folks. Most of my correspondence happens through email or AOL instant messenger, so folks were happy just to see me. It had been a few weeks since my last visit. By chance, Ken Mehlman, the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, is in town this week. He was the campaign manager for Bush/Cheney 2004 and constantly appears on television to speak on behalf of the party. Nonetheless, as I entered the building, he was coming down the stairs for a press conference. One of my bosses introduced me to him, and we talked for a couple of minutes. Inevitably, someone mentioned my situation with Hodgkin's Disease, so I am sure that he will remember me as the young-looking guy with cancer.

After talking with Chairman Mehlman, I talked with our RNC Regional Coordinator, Anne Hathaway. Since being diagnosed, Anne has been extremely supportive with my situation. As a young 20 something in Ohio, I could have never imagined folks back in D.C. taking note of my battle. Politics does not stop. It is a busy, crazy life. Still, I have learned that situations like mine bring perspective. Last year, she went through a similar situation with her father. Anne and I talked for a good fifteen minutes about the past few weeks. At a couple of points, I could see her tearing up. It is hard to explain, but you draw strength from caring people like Anne.

Finally, my night concluded with a school board meeting. As much as possible, I try to keep politics and school board out of my writing. The Columbus Monthly is continuing their article on me. Tonight, they sent a photographer. Through out the course of the beginning of the meeting, I felt like I was at a photo shoot. The flash of the camera was going off constantly. Do not get me wrong, I am thankful and appreciative that the Columbus Monthly has decided to do a piece on me. But, it was a humorous. I felt like the paparazi was after me.

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you.

Psalm 55:22

It's a Beautiful Ride

I am ready to get knocked down again for a few days. While these extra days off are relaxing, I know that sitting idle does not get me any closer to beating this disease. My patience is not wearing thin, but I am excited to get round two finished. Hook me up and let's get this show on the road. If it were not for a school board meeting, I would be heading to the doctor's tomorrow for treatment. O well, a day can wait at this point.

Again, let me reiterate that I am truly thankful for all the cards, emails, phone calls, and visits. I do not mean to lessen my gratitude to people if I do not mention them in the course of my writing. With that said, I had a visit today from one of my old middle school and high school friends, Sarah Cowen. She is just one of those people who can brighten up the room with her smile and personality. Life has not been particularly sunny or exciting lately, so her visit was well timed! We have talked over the phone and through AOL, but it had been awhile since we last saw each other. Over the course of an hour or so, we were able to catch up on life.

Today, I received an email from a mother with children at a Pickerington elementary school. Over the past two years, she has followed the stories about me through the Dispatch and local news channels. She is organizing a Commit to Be Fit/Mini Relay for Life at their school for May 12th. The school will have activities all day for the students as well as stations where they will be learning about cancer awareness and prevention. All money raised will be going towards the American Cancer Society. On April 19th, I will be speaking at the kickoff assembly at the school. Then, on May 12th, I will be speaking at the opening ceremonies as well taking the "survivor first lap" around the track. (Although, I won't technically be a survivor at that point!) ... I decided to be open about my situation, so that I could help at events such as this one in Pickerington.

A couple days ago, I heard a new country song entitled "Life Ain't Always Beautiful" by Gary Allan. A little less than two years ago, Gary's wife committed suicide leaving behind him and their children. Since that time, he has written a couple of songs relating to her passing. More than anything, the song relates to the ups and downs of life. Below, I pulled the lyrics that I am able to identify with at this time in my life. (In the song, he goes on to detail missing her.)

Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes its just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And its just a dead road at the end of the day

But the struggle makes you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it's own way of taking its sweet time

No, life ain't always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life ain't always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

More Sleep, Less Hair

I cannot wait for the day that my body returns to a normal state. As I have discussed, my body becomes fatigued so easily. Last night, I got home from visiting a family friend around 8:30. By 8:45, I was out cold. One moment I was sitting in bed watching t.v.- the next I was sleeping. Then, today, I got home from church. After eating some lunch, I was sitting in bed watching basketball. Just like last night, I fell asleep within minutes. Maybe I need to avoid my bed as much as possible during the day. Anyways, this just isn't normal!

My hair is still bugging me. The nurse explained that I would begin feeling a prickly feeling on my head when the hair starts to fall out. I guess the feeling comes from the hair follicles falling out. Well, I have definitely reached this point in the process. When my head rubs up against the pillow, I feel like porcupines are rubbing against it. The feeling even occurs if I wear too small of a hat. You have to experience the feeling to understand what I am saying.

Tonight, I met with a group of friends who are working on a fundraiser to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in my name. In the coming weeks, I am sure that you will hear more about this event. Right now, we are looking at a golf outing followed by a dinner/dance and silent auction. We are in the process of ironing out the details, but it is our hope that we are able to raise a good amount of money.

Tonight, I was reading through Ephesians. While I have read Ephesians a couple of times, I never noted or highlighted much of verse 6. I think several parts are applicable to overcoming adversity in life.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

Ephesians 6:10-15

Starting to Lose It

Originally, I planned to be recovering from my treatment today. Consequently, I did not have any plans. After waking up in the morning, I returned emails and phone calls regarding school board issues. I finished all my tasks, so that I would be able to watch the Ohio State game. Thankfully, the Bucks were able to pull it together in the second half for a win.

After the game, I went to a close friend of the family, Patty Frazier, to get my head shaved. The doctor said that by the third week I would start experiencing hair loss. Well, I am starting to lose it haha... When I run my hands across my head, I tend to have hair come off towards the middle and back. By this time next week, I imagine that I will be pretty thin. My hair is shaved down pretty low. If my hair starts to get spotty, I am just going to go Mr. Clean style. Also, the doctor said that I would likely lose my eye brows and eye lashes. I have not seen a noticeable loss, but I know that I am starting to lose some eye lashes. Over the past few days, my eyes continue to get irritated due to eye lashes fall inside.

Here is my humorous story of the day. I had my mom pick me up some shrimp temp roll sushi and edamame from a Japanese restaurant. Don't ask why, but I had a craving. In particular, edamame is great- they are like green beans steamed and covered with a little bit of salt. You suck the beans out of the vegetable. Anyways, I left a few pieces of the sushi incase my dad wanted to try some. If you know my dad, you know he isn't too exotic with his food. He definitely is not a sushi guy. So, I go up to my room. Fifteen minutes later, he comes upstairs with a red face asking me if I ever tried "this green stuff." Not knowing any better, he ate the entire ball of wasabi along with the ginger pieces. I could not stop laughing. He said it was the hottest thing he has ever eaten.

Finally, the players and parents of the Jerome Baseball teams put together a huge tub of goodies for me. This was not just any regular tub. I could probably fit into the tub myself. I could not be more thankful for the gift certificates, food, drinks, books, and more. Again, the outpouring of support is just amazing. I think I could fill the card section of a small drug store with all the cards and letters in my room.

I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:10-13

Counts too Low

When I got to the doctors office, I had my blood drawn. Now that I have been poked like a pin cushion, I am not even phased by needles. Eventually, I was told that my white cell count was too low to receive chemotherapy today. I was at .8, and I needed to at least be at 1.0. As a result, I get treatment next Thursday.

For now on, I receive a shot the day after each treatment to boost my white cell counts. The doctor said this was not a big deal. It occurs to over fifty percent of Hodgkins patients. When I asked about the shot, he referred to it as the "money shot." I guess its an expensive shot. Nonetheless, I should not experience anymore delays with my treatment due to these shots.

In the grand scheme of things, it only moves things back a week. I cannot say that I am disappointed not to feel like crap the whole weekend! Even better, it helps with my baseball schedule. It gives me the chance of feeling better during some important dates.

Lastly, I had the chance to step on the scale. Again, my goal was to stay above 160. As she moved the weights, I landed right on 161. I could not help but think that the cheeseburger and sundae put me over my goal.

Tired

Do you know how it feels to just be warn down at the end of a long day? Well, I felt like that the whole day. From the time I woke up, I just felt slow. My tank was empty. Shortly after waking up, I spoke with a couple different people on the phone. I struggled to just concentrate. At some point, the doctor said that I would become fatigued due to low blood level counts. I am wondering if I have reached that point.

For lunch, I went to Mary Kelly's. I figured this would be my last big meal. Again, I had a big cheeseburger. For some reason, I have been craving cheeseburgers over the past few days. I managed to eat the whole thing. However, I didn't go to Mary Kelly's for the cheeseburger. I went to Mary Kelly's for the fudge brownie sundae. I am sure they do not get many orders for fudge brownie sundaes before noon, but let me say, it hit the spot. I am excited to jump on the scale tomorrow. I feel confident that the past few days have kept me above 160 pounds.

After I finished up with lunch, I came home and took a nap. At 4:00, I went to the District's Central Office for our agenda review meeting. This lasted until 5:40. From the agenda review meeting, I met with a group of parents regarding a school board issue from 6:00 to 8:45. By the time the last meeting wrapped up, I was struggling. It was a comforting to come home, eat some dinner, and relax in bed.

Tomorrow, I start round two. If all goes well, this treatment could mark the quarter way point. We shall see...

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

Making the Most

Well, I am two days out from my next round of chemotherapy. Thankfully, I am still feeling well. If the trend continues, I hope to only be tied down to my bed for one or two days after the chemotherapy. When I went into the last treatment, I was still dealing with the symptoms of Hodgkins. Now, I am heading into the treatment without the symptoms. I do not know if that will lesson the initial hardship this time around, but it will be interesting to analyze any differences.

Right now, I am trying my best to enjoy each "good" day. With the next treatment on the horizon, I have a sense of urgency to make the most out of the remaining days before my treatment. In a way, I feel like I am leaving to go somewhere on Thursday. There is an urgency- almost like packing before a trip. I am trying to complete any errands or tasks. I am trying to eat as much as possible.

Today, I used the afternoon to get myself out of the house.

First, I made a stop at the bookstore. Despite having a number of unread books, I felt the need to purchase a few more. To mix things up, I went the classics route. My purchases included All Quiet on the Western Front, Mere Christianity, and Black Like Me. As I continue to write blog entries, I am sure that I will draw bits and pieces from each book.

Next, I had a craving for a cheeseburger, so I went to Fudruckers. It was a random craving, and I had not been to Fudruckers in a number of years. Still, I ate the whole burger- which shows how much my appetite has improved since the beginning of the treatment. Once I finished eating, I stopped back at my house and picked up books, videos, and clothes.

Lastly, I met with two passionate representatives from the American Cancer Society. As we talked back and forth, I became even more motivated to make a difference. We discussed a number of items, but eventually, I outlined my three goals: spreading awareness, assisting with fundraising, and helping with issue advocacy. Now, we are going to work together, through a number of different avenues, to accomplish those goals. This will be an ongoing process, so I will keep you updated along the way. As a side note, I also received an email from a representative from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society today. We are going to meet as well.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we known that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 5:1-5

Perseverance

If you wanted to know how I am feeling, I would tell you to ask my baseball players. I am sure that they would tell you I was doing just well right now. They have heard me loud and clear over the past two days. I have been back in regular form at practices. Instead of sitting on a chair on the side, I have been hitting ground balls, moving around the gym, and constantly talking with my boys.

Besides baseball, I took the weekend easy. I am always cautious with my body. Lately, I have experienced fatigue from time to time during the day. Usually, I am pretty tired by the evening. More than ever, I realize the importance of a good nights sleep. For the first time in several Sundays, I felt well. I was hoping to attend the 9:30 church service with my mom, but I slept straight through it. Now, I will probably have to wait a couple Sundays for my next chance.

My next chemotherapy treatment occurs on Thursday. Last time, I received treatment on a Wednesday. I am trying to figure out the best day to receive treatment with my schedule. Eventually, I would like to find the day that allows me to work a little and continue coaching. At this point, I am wondering if my body will react the same way to the next treatment. Fortunately, my next treatment coincides with the start of the NCAA tournament. At least I will have something good to watch on TV.

Over the course of the weekend, I read an excellent book- The Miracle of St. Anthony. A journalist followed a small catholic high school basketball team based in Jersey City, New Jersey. The school is set in one of the worst parts of Jersey City and run by two nuns. Students attending the school come from the worst of the worst backgrounds. Over the past twenty five years, the coach has led the school to over twenty state championships. But, more importantly, the coach takes boys off the streets, preaches academics, and teaches them to play basketball as a team. Through tough love and coaching, he uses the game of basketball to teach the boys lessons in life and develop them into men.

Finally, I mentioned that I would comment further on the book of James. In his writing, James discusses the idea that God can use suffering for our benefit. James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

During my moments of pain, I am not thinking that the suffering will be to my benefit. I am not thinking that I will be a stronger person in the future. Pain is pain. Chemotherapy sucks. But, its necessary to rid myself of this disease. I believe James is telling us to find joy in the results of the trials, not in the trials themselves. Even difficult times can produce good qualities, such as patience and perseverance. James 1:12 goes further saying, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

Today was a Good Day

Over the past five days, my writing has decreased. I can only attribute this reason to the fact that I have been feeling much better. Instead of laying in bed, I have been attending meetings and coaching baseball. While my energy level is not at full strength, I am still able to function at a level that allows me to regain a sense of normalcy in life.

Yesterday, I woke just before 9:00. Earlier in the week, I received a phone call from an editor at the Columbus Monthly Magazine. She asked about setting up a time to interview me this week, so we arranged a meeting at Cairbou Coffee in Worthington. From 10:00 to 11:30, we discussed a number of different issues ranging from my time on the school board to my cancer diagnosis. Over the next few weeks, she and a photographer will be following me at different meetings or events.

After the meeting, I spent an hour at Jerome High School talking with teachers and administrators. This gave me the opportunity to catch up with former teachers and principals. In particular, I had the chance to speak with Mr. Morris, my high school government teacher. Since graduating, we have stayed in touch. Shortly after visiting Jerome, I went to our school district's administrative offices for a series of meetings. I know that I need to pace myself with this treatment, but I enjoy the chance to just get out of the house. I do not want people think that I am dormant and quarantined to my bedroom all the time.

Lastly, I attended baseball practice from 6:00 to 8:00. For the most part, I sat in the chair and coached the pitchers. I felt well enough to be more active, but by this point in the day, I had already pushed my body to it's furthest point since the chemotherapy treatment. Still, by the end of the practice, I could not resist taking the catcher's glove from one of the other coaches. Despite his offering, I caught the last pitcher of the evening. What a great feeling.

Today, I spent most of my time on the phone working on school board issues. I did not have a reason to leave the house- with the exception of a lunch meeting. Although I was not particularly active, I felt the best I have felt since my chemotherapy treatment. I am hoping to string a few days like this in a row!

Next week, I am meeting with two folks from the American Cancer Society. One of the ladies happens to be neighbors with my friend and former board member, Tom Fries. After reading about my story in the newspaper, she contacted me about helping further my goal to raise cancer awareness, prevention, and support. Specifically, she mentioned ways that we could work together to further the cause of the organization's "Relay for Life" in Dublin. I do not have many details at this point, but I look forward to the meeting next week. I will keep everyone updated.

Lately, I have been rereading the Book of James. As applicable, I am going to refer to passages in the following days. Today, I specifically want to discuss James 4:13-17. James tells us, "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'"

Once I won my seat on the school board, I already started hearing the question, "What are you going to run for next?" Questions like this one have continued over the past couple of years. Naturally, I guess some people develop expectations. Despite my success, I try my best to focus at the task at hand and approach life day by day. I would attribute a part of this to my nature and a part of it to my faith. Then again, maybe the two are one and of the same.

More than ever, I know that tomorrow is the unknown. Life can change at the blink of an eye. Before this diagnosis, I probably would have just called that sentence a cliche, but now, I have experienced it. I am living it. I know how it feels to live a normal life one day and wake up the next to hear life altering news.

What does tomorrow bring? What is my purpose in life? I do not know, but if it is the Lord's will, I will be there to live it.

Upward Stride

Thankfully, I have started to hit an upward stride. Since Sunday, I have felt better day by day. For me, this equates to two things: less laying in bed and more eating. While I continue to rest, I have slowly started to get out of the house to do little things like run errands or attend meetings. Fortunately, my eating has picked up in the past couple of days. Instead of eating two meals a day, I have begun to eat three meals. Mind you, the portion sizes are not huge, but its a big improvement. Even more, I have started to snack a little bit between meals.

Yesterday, I attended my first school board meeting since undergoing chemotherapy. To be honest, I was unsure how my body would handle a meeting. However, I trusted that I would be able to get through the hours ahead. Ironically, the meeting was one of the longest meetings I have had since being on the board. I arrived around 6:30 and left around 11:30. Still, it was a great feeling just to have some normalcy. As odd as it sounds, I feel at home at these meetings. It may be hard to understand, but it also gives me a chance to leave "the cancer world" and focus on the school district.

Also, this meeting marked the first time that the board members, school district employees, and community have seen me since shaving my head. I am glad that I shaved my head in anticipation of the hair loss. It has given me a chance to naturally transition into baldness- if that's possible!

I know I have repeated this over and over, but I could not be more thankful for the support of the board members and school district employees. At the first meeting of every month, the district honors two employees for "Golden Shamrock" awards. Employees are nominated by their peers for this once in a life time award. This is a big deal for an employee to receive this award. Last night, the first recipient was a guidance counselor from Karrer Middle School. I have heard her name, but never formally met. After receiving the award and giving her speech, she began to go through the regular routine of shaking the hands of district officials and school board members. When she came to me, I put my hand out like regular to shake hands. However, she took my hand and pulled me close for a hug. As she hugged me, she whispered into my ear, "God Bless you Chris. We are praying for you." I could not have been more moved than at that moment.

Well, today was my birthday, and I am one of those people who do not like to make a big deal out of my birthday. I would much rather attention be focused on someone else- not me. I was talking with my friend Eric, and he asked, "Its your birthday... and you have cancer... what's that like?" I could not help but laugh. He quickly followed, "Cuz people have been treating you like its your birthday for the past month. I'd say sign me up-except for the cancer part." When life gets too serious, its important to have friends like Eric.

All in all, it was a good birthday- except for the USA baseball team losing to Canada.

Shot in Life

Over the past couple of days, I have been pretty lifeless. As a result, writing has not been at the top of my to-do list. Lately, my biggest battles have been bouts with fatigue, burning in my mouth, and stomach pains. My condition is far better than a few days ago but still far from ideal.

I am afraid to weigh myself. At the beginning of this process, I thought the decrease in my weight was humorous. Now, I actually need to start taking some concern. Before Hodgkin's Disease, I was already pretty skinny. Occasionally, people would joke about my frame. Now, I am hearing comments more and more often. Time to pack on the calories...

Over a week ago, I first saw television coverage about an inspiring high school basketball story out of New Jersey. At the age of 2, Jason Mcelwain was diagnosed with autism. As an underclassmen, he tried out, but did not make his junior varsity basketball team. As a result, he was asked to serve as the team manager. Now, as a high school senior, he serves in that same role for his high school's varsity basketball team.

During his team's last home basketball game, the coach asked him to suit-up. If the coach had a chance, he was going to get Jason into the game. Word spread that Jason could get the chance to enter the game, so the student body prepared signs with Jason's face. With a little over four minutes to go in the game, the coach entered Jason into the game.

The hope of all involved was for Jason to just make one shot. On his first attempt, he missed badly. But, with a little over three minutes left, he hit a three pointer. In the following three minutes, he went on to score an amazing 20 points as he made 6 three point shots and one additional basket. Each time his team came down the court, he continued to make his shots. The video is absolutely amazing. At the conclusion of the game, the student section rushed the court as the varsity team raised Jason above the crowd.

When the reporter started the coverage about Jason, he opened with this comment, "What we all want in life is a shot, but what we do with it, that's the story we all want to tell." As I think about Jason's story, I cannot help but relate it to my involvement with coaching baseball.

As a coach, I have two goals. First, I want to teach my players to perform and compete at the best of their ability as a team. Second, and most importantly, I want to teach my players how the game of baseball applies to life. When the time comes for my players to move on from our team, I do not want them walking away as just a better baseball player- I want them walking away as a better individual. I want each player to understand the importance of success as well as the ability to overcome adversity. I want each player ready for their shot in life.

I pray that none of my players experience this disease. But, if one of the boys were to be in this position in ten years, I can only hope that he'd be able to draw strength and confidence from the lessons he learned while on our team.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Spoke to Soon

Well, I spoke a little bit too soon. The effects of chemo decided to wait an extra day before hitting me. Yesterday, I slept like I have never slept in my life. I was just knocked out. I imagine that I was awake no more than four and a half hours.

I struggled to do much of anything. My appetite was minimal. Even worse, I have started to get a sore throat. Before I started the treatments, the doctor and nurse mentioned that the chemo would effect my throat and tongue (these are some of the fastest growing cells in our body). During the morning, I managed to eat a bowl of cornflakes. In the evening, my mom made me a fruit smoothie. So much for staying above 160 lbs...

For now, I am going to go back to sleeping off the chemo.

Quite A Surprise

Well, I could not have predicted that I would feel better after a chemotherapy treatment. From my understanding, I should be feeling worse after a treatment. I am fortunate that my body has reacted so well. Like I mentioned yesterday, I received anti-nausea drugs prior to the start of the chemotherapy drugs. The anti-nausea drugs are suppose to last 3-5 days. I am sure this has aided the process.

Last night, I took one of the prescription pills before I went to bed. Going through this experience for the first time, I took the pill just incase I started experiencing side effects during the night. Fortunately, I did not need to take any pills today.

Since receiving the chemotherapy treatment, I have not had the chills or fevers. Typically, I get the chills at least once during the course of a day. I did not expect to see the Hodgkin's symptoms decrease this quickly. Last night, I did not even have night sweats. It will be interesting to monitor my symptoms during the coming days.

The doctor said that I would feel fatigued at times due to the chemotherapy. I know this fatigue will be a different sort of fatigue than that caused by the disease. But, fatigue is fatigue. The last month and a half of my life has been complete fatigue. At this point, I am willing to trade the symptoms of Hodgkin's for the fatigue of chemotherapy. I guess I just do not think that things can get any worse than the past month and a half.

During the course of the day, I did not really feel too sleepy. Trust me, I rested my body, but I did not find myself just randomly falling to sleep. When I tried to take a nap, I was able to quickly fall asleep. My appetite has been decent. I am trying to figure out a way to challenge myself to keep my weight up.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
You will revive me; You will stretch
our Your hand against the wrath
of my enemies, and Your right
hand will save me.

Psalm 138:7

Chris 1, Cancer 0

Today was the first day on the road to recovery. And, to be honest, I could not feel better. I know this sounds weird. When you receive chemo, you are not suppose to be at the highest of spirits. But, after a month and a half of the symptoms combined with all these tests, my state could not get much worse. Let me give you a run down for the day...

My appointment was scheduled for 10:00. First, I went through the usual weigh-in, blood pressure test, and temperature check. My weight is down to 160. If you would have asked me to put money on it, I would have said that I stayed at 161 or even went up. I have been eating better lately. O well, I will keep on doing my best to get my weight to 165.

After the usual tests, we met with my doctor. He explained the process as well as details on the treatment today. It was comforting to spend some time discussing all the little small things involved. Originally, I was told that the symptoms from the disease would go away within weeks. Now, he says that it should be a matter of days. Next, there are several different scenarios that I must be prepared for while going through chemo treatment. Most importantly, there are a few red flags that can force me to be admitted to the hospital. We went through several "what if" scenarios. Most notably, if my temperature raise above the 100.5 mark, I need to go to the hospital. If I reach that point, my body will not be able to fight it down, so they will need to administer different drugs to aid my immune system.

Once our discussion concluded, I was off to the chemo room. Let me give you an image of the chemotherapy treatment room. Windows cover the back of the room from left to right. There are a few TV's hanging from the ceiling. Recliners are lined up along the outline of the room with IV hangers close to their side. On the far left, the elderly crowd congregated. At the far end of the room, a talkative group of women sat discussing everything from children to clothes to their treatment. I found my way to the middle.

At first, I sat in a recliner situated by the elderly ladies. They were busy watching Dr. Phil on the television. After sitting down, I realized this was a mistake. Fortunately, a gentleman finished his treatment and asked if I wanted to take his seat in front of another television in the middle of the room. I happily obliged.

At this point, mom was no doubt getting nervous. The nurse came over to start my IV in the port. I was told that the insertion into the port would feel like a bee sting. I have not been stung by a bee in a while, but I am pretty sure this stung worse. Before the treatment could start, she had to inject one of the drugs into my arm to see the reaction of my body. After the injection, we had to wait thirty minutes. During that span of time, the nurse went through a folder of materials with us. I do not think we left any stones unturned. At the conclusion of the thirty minutes, mom had to leave the room.

With mom gone, the nurse started by giving me anti-nausea drugs. After fifteen minutes, she started inserting three of the chemotherapy drugs into the IV. One by one, she finished each injection with 20 minute intervals. Finally, at the end, the last drug was administered through a drip bag that took around 45 minutes. Lastly, she pulled the IV out of the pump. It was an odd feeling.

During the treatment, I did not feel any pain. All in all, the chemotherapy treatment lasted around an hour and a half. The process was laid back. I even spoke on the phone for thirty minutes with our school board vice president, Mark Holderman. For the remainder of the time, I listened to music on my iPod and read a book. At one point, my mom came to visit with the doctor who started me off on this process. It was a great surprise, and I was happy to see him again.

I could not say enough kind things about my nurses today. From the time I walked into the door, the receptionist greeted me with a big smile and began to discuss all the media coverage from last week. I have been in the office a few times now, but still, I believe every nurse in the office new my name. The little things go a long way. The nurse who administered my chemo treatment is like a mother. She did every little thing to make sure I was comfortable (blankets, candy, juice, water, you name it). Lastly, as I was walking out of the office, one of the nurses in the general office area was on the phone. I quietly waved good-bye and said thank you. Instead of carrying on with her phone conversation, she put the caller on hold and made sure that my day went well. Good people, good people.

Once I arrived home from the hospital, I crawled underneath my covers. I managed to eat some lunch- a glass of iced-tea, beef and vegetable soup, and a hot pretzel. It did not take me long to drift off to sleep after this meal. When I woke up, I was sweating a bit. The chemotherapy made my sweat have an odd smell. Even funnier, the taste of water had changed by the time I woke up. The nurse had warned me that the taste of certain foods and drinks would change during this treatment process.

Starting this week, the baseball team is delivering meals to our house. From what I understand, families are signed up all the way through July. The mother helping coordinate the efforts has even been receiving emails and calls from families outside of our team who want to participate. My family could not be more thankful for all the support. My mom has lived her life as a "giver." She openly admits that she is not a good "receiver" when it comes to gifts and help. Regardless, we were blessed with a great meal, cartons of bottled water and gatorade as well as a goodie basket for me filled with the newest movie release "Walk the Line."

Over the past two months, I helped a family from Alabama who is moving to Powell find a travel baseball team for their son. They received my email address from a friend of a friend. Anyway, the mother emailed me today thanking me for my help, but also to express her support and prayers for my recovery. She has been following my story through the newspaper. In her email, she left me with this passage from Jeremiah.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:11-14