A Change of Plans

Instead of receiving my first chemo treatment on Thursday, we have moved the appointment to tomorrow. Like I have said previously, I do not like to sit around idle. If we are not doing something to progress my treatment, I feel like we are wasting time. Tomorrow will be one step closer to beating this disease.

As usual, I woke up around 4:30 this morning. Despite waking up, I was able to sleep until noon. I actually felt like I was able to get some quality sleep. Once I got up and moving, I decided to get out of the house. When I left the house, I had a fever running around 99 degrees, but it seemed to go away over the following hours. During my drive, I made a couple stops. At the end, I decided to just drive around the country with the windows down. It was a peaceful feeling.

My mom is holding out hope that I will keep my hair during this process. While I appreciate her optimism, I am a little bit more realistic. As a result, I made the decision to get my head shaved today. I have never shaved my head in my life. This is a new feeling. By the end of March, I should be completely bald- in addition to possibly losing my eyebrows, eye lashes, etc.

During the evening, I had a couple sets of visitors. First, Eric and Pat drove up from campus. We were roomed together freshman year in Morrill Tower and have remained good friends since that time. Just being around them makes me laugh.

Next, a group of guys from the lobbying firm came to take me out for a little while. Usually, we would have gone to the country bar on a Tuesday night, but things are obviously a little bit different now. After picking me up, we settled at the Bogey Inn for a couple of hours. It was nice to get out and share some laughs.

I was feeling hot, so I just took my temperature. I am running at 99.9 degrees right now. Before this disease, I would have thought something more about that number. Now, it almost seems like normalcy. I should be fine in a couple of hours.

In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge;
Let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue.
Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
Free me from the trap that is set for me'
for you are my refuge.
Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth.

Pslam 31:1-5

"Good to Go"

At the worst of times, this situation gives me a chance to analyze life. It gives me a chance to examine my path before this disease struck. I will be the first to admit that I am extraordinarily busy. Often, I am waking up at six or seven in the morning and running around until late at night. Sometimes, this does not even stop on the weekends. But, I do not do it because of the money or ulterior motives. I love everything I do- otherwise, I would not do it.

Still, this gives me an opportunity. This gives me an opportunity to look at my priorities. Am I devoted to my faith as much as I should be? Am I spending enough time with my family? Am I spending enough time with my friends? How are my relationships in life? Am I giving back for all that I received?

The questions are endless. The more I think about it, the more I realize an important point. A time like this should serve as a reminder that I should always be asking these questions.

A few days ago, I heard a song entitled "Good to Go" by John Corbett. After seeing the video for the song a couple of times on CMT, I downloaded the song on my iPod. I have been listening to it quite a bit lately.

The chorus line reads: "Now, I am not planning on leaving yet, but the truth is you just never know. And if this is as good as it gets, I am good to go." Being in my situation, the chorus line hits home. No one could have seen this disease coming. I am fortunate to be in a situation where my cancer has a high survival rate. Some people aren't as lucky. Rest assured, I am not planning on leaving anytime soon. But, I want to live my life in a way that when my time comes, I am "good to go."

Waitin' at a stoplight yesterday
As a funeral precession made its way
Through the gates
I watch it roll up a windin' road
Through the field of green
With whitehead stones all in a row
And it made me think about where I'm at
On my not so straight and narrow path
All the generous and mostly undeserved
Blessings that I've had

Had all American Mom and Dad
Some of the coolest friends that you could ever have
Found love I thought I'd never find
I can't believe this life is mine

And I'm not plannin' on leavin' yet
But the truth is you just never know
And if this is as good as it gets
Man, I think I'm good to go
I'm good to go

I've said a prayer for the dearly departed
And the loved ones left broken hearted
And traffic started

And I drove away a little more able
To see the good things on my table
For that, I'm grateful
Cause I've had my trouble, I've had my trials
I've hit the mark and I've missed by miles
Had days when I've been fightin' mad
But the goodtimes have more than outweighed the bad

Got to hold my newborn baby girl
And the hand of a man as he slipped from this world
I've laughed so hard I couldn't stop
Seen the sunrise from a mountain top

Now, I'm not plannin' on leavin' yet
But the truth is you just never know
And if this is as good as it gets
Man, I think I'm good to
(Good to go, yeah)

I've been thinkin' bout where I'm at
On my not so straight and narrow path
And I wouldn't want to change nothin' about this road
With the life I've had

Thorns

This disease makes you appreciate the average, lack-luster days in life. When I start getting fevers, life stops. I lay in bed for hours on end with the covers wrapped around my body. At times, my eyes begin to burn so much that I cannot even watch television. Just getting up to go to the bathroom becomes a challenge because my body becomes fatigued and weak.

When healthy, you do not think about the simple tasks in life. This experience makes me think about the transformation into old age, and the inability to independently perform daily routines. Last night, I struggled just taking a shower. At several points, I needed to put my hand up against the wall or squat to stop the dizziness. When I finished my shower, I even had to sit against the wall while brushing my teeth.

Lately, I have been exchanging emails with a good friend who returned from Iraq in December. After our first year at OSU, he decided that his heart was not in academics. Since 9/11, he felt the call to duty to serve his country. At the age of 19, this bright, funny well-liked guy picked up his life and left to serve our country. Eventually, he scored at the top of his class and became an Army Ranger.

Over the past few weeks, I have had many people say that I have been an inspiration to them. I am thankful for all of those comments. I am thankful for the ability to touch the lives of others. But for me, my friend is a true inspiration.

During his time in Iraq, he patrolled the slums of Baghdad. While going through this experience, he used scripture from II Corinthians 12:9-10 to get him through the tough times. In the scripture, Paul notes that he has been given certain "thorns in the flesh" which he calls "messengers from Satan." These thorns are meant to humble him as well as give him the opportunity to rise above his hardships.

To my friend, the passage meant that sometimes being a Christian requires hardships and sufferings. These hardships are not meant to be merely endured, but to give us an opportunity to maintain a positive attitude and our love for God. At the beginning of the scripture the Lord says, "My strength is made perfect in weakness." Paul ends the scripture by saying, "For when I am weak, I am strong."

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

II Corinthians 12:9-10

The James

This morning, I took my first visit to the James Cancer Hospital at The Ohio State University. It is funny. I had always heard about the James Cancer Hospital. I had always heard about the hospital's national reputation. I had always heard about someone else going to the James. Now, I was at the James as a patient.

The setup at the James is different than Grant. The James has a group of 7 doctors that specialize in lymphoma, and they collectively work together with the patients. First, I went through the typical meeting with the a couple of different nurses. I went through a few simple tests and discussed my health history. As a side note, my weight is now at 161 lbs.

After the opening meetings with the nurses, I met with Dr. Gordy. From the start, Dr. Gordy was my type of doctor. He almost seemed like a father-figure type. As he sat down to talk with my parents and I, he looked at me and said, "Well, this just sucks!" At one point, he even said, "You've gotten hosed." I know these comments seem small and trivial, but as you are discussing something as serious as cancer and the possible treatment, it helps ease the tension. He went on to discuss the analysis of my tests as well as a brief preview of the possible treatment plan.

Finally, we had our big meeting with Dr. Porcu. He is the chief specialist for lymphoma in the department. From what I have read, he is internationally recognized as one of the best in his field. As I listened to Dr. Porcu, I felt like I was going through medical school. Similar to Dr. Gordy, he explained the results of all my tests as well as the possible treatment plan. However, he went into further detail. For me, these details were informative and comforting. By the time we finished our discussion with Dr. Porcu, I knew that I wanted my treatment to be at the James.

Now, for the final diagnosis and treatment plan. I remain a Stage II-B diagnosis. However, because my symptoms (chills, fever, night sweats, etc.) are so bad, I am considered a
"super B." Consequently, Dr. Porcu noted that I would need to be treated like an advanced staged patient. This means that I will need to receive six months of ABVD chemotherapy. I will receive treatment every 14th day. While it sucks to have an extended treatment, I feel confident in Dr. Porcu's plan to cure my body of this disease. Luckily, he says that I will be able to be active in between treatments, so I will be able to take part in some of my regular activities.


Next Thursday, I receive my first chemotherapy treatment. However, before I get the chemotherapy treatment, I get the pleasure of undergoing another CT scan, so Dr. Porcu and Dr. Gordy can get a complete image of my body and the enlarged lymph nodes. They will use these images to compare to future images as we watch the lymph nodes decrease in size over the next six months. Hidden beneath all this mess, I get to drink more of the thick, chalky "fruit smoothie." I thought I got past this point in the process.

To complete the visit, Dr. Gordy had a dietician visit with me at the request of my mom. Because of my weight loss, she recommended a high-protein, high-calorie diet. At this point, she noted that I need to maintain a weight around the 165 mark. She gave a list of possible foods as well as recipes for milk shakes and smoothies. I hope it helps.

All in all, we spent a little over four hours at the James. When I got home, I was running a fever, so I laid in bed. It took me until 6:30 to break the fever. Now, I am relaxing in bed and returning emails.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7 NIV

Recovering

Today was a day for recovery. Like I mentioned earlier, the pain was not isolated to my chest. I also felt soreness in my shoulder and upper back. Around noon, my surgeon's nurse called to check-up on me. I asked why I was experiencing pain in several places. She noted that because I am skinny, the insertion of the port spreads my skin. As a result, the soreness can be felt beyond my chest.

Near 2:30, a producer from Channel 6 called about setting up an interview. I was not feeling at my highest level, but good enough to conduct an interview. Plus, Channel 6 put together a really nice story when I was sworn in as School Board President. Around 4:00, Crystal Davis, the reporter, and the camera man showed up at my parent's house. The interview went similar to last evening. Just a few minutes ago, Channel 6 aired the story on the 11 o'clock news. Once again, they did an excellent job.

Tomorrow morning, I have my appointment with Dr. Porcu from the James Cancer Hospital at The Ohio State University. He specializes in Hodgkin's Disease. Just for clarification, I will not need to go through all of the tests from the past two weeks again. I have signed over my records to the doctor. He will analyze my results and then give his recommendation for a treatment plan. By the end of tomorrow, we should have our final game plan for my treatment.

Thank you all again for your continual thoughts and prayers. I will be updating everyone tomorrow with the treatment plan.

Below, you will find links to the articles from the Dispatch and Dublin Villager.
Dispatch Article
Dublin Villager Article

So Sore

Surgery went well yesterday. Though, I think I need to start raising my expectations for levels of pain. This surgery has left my chest sore as well as my left shoulder. The incision to insert the port is the same size as the biopsy- around five inches. It is located just underneath the collar bone on the left side of my chest. Needless to say, sleeping did not go too well last night.

The port works different than what I initially understood. There is not a physical tube or object that sticks out of my chest. Instead, the port remains under the skin. When they administer chemo, an IV, or withdraw blood, they will insert a needle into the skin and thus into the port. (The pain is suppose to be like a bee sting.) In order to make the whole system work, the port is connected to a vein below the skin.

Similar to past experiences, I slept for a few hours upon arriving home from the hospital. However, I managed to eat a half of an egg sandwich as well as yogurt with oranges. (Take into consideration that it was near 3:00 in the afternoon and I had not been able to eat or drink since midnight of the previous evening).

Around 6:30, my mom woke me up. A producer from WBNS 10TV was on the phone asking for me. After picking up the phone, the producer congratulated me for being elected School Board President last month. Then, she mentioned that the station had news passed along to them regarding my battle with cancer. As we discussed the situation, the producer asked if she could send someone out to my house to do an interview for the 11 o'clock news. Although very sore, I agreed.

The producer sent Angela Pace, one of 10TV's anchors. Through the course of the past two years, Angela has reported on me during the evening broadcast- though we have never done an interview together. It was nice to meet her after watching her for so long. Beyond the cancer, she was interested to hear more about me and the reasons that I have become involved in the community. After nearly an hour, the interview ended. Even after the camera turned off, she stayed around talking with my parents. Already, I have met so many good, caring people as I journey through this process. Angela was as genuine and sincere as anyone.

The Port

It is 12:24 in the morning. In less than twelve hours, I will be in another surgery. This time, I get a port put into my chest. Like I mentioned previously, the port serves as a readily accessible point for IVs and chemotherapy.

It is weird. Today, I started looking forward to the surgery. Being diagnosed with cancer, I prefer not to spend days sitting idle. I have a hard enough time laying around all day- not taking part in my regular life. My mind goes even more crazy when I am not doing something to beat this disease.

Overall, I was rather active today. Although, by the time the evening rolled around, the fatigue started to wear on me. During the afternoon, I met with my Pastor to discuss my disease. I had been looking forward to getting a chance to sit down and talk things over with him. After the meeting, I came home for a short nap. Around 5:30, I left to attend my first school board meeting since being diagnosed. Once the school board meeting completed, I came home for the evening.

I wrapped things up with a visit from a friend who I had not seen in quite some time. Before arriving, my friend said she had been an emotional wreck. She was having a hard time dealing with the fact that I was diagnosed with cancer. At one point in our discussion, she said she was not that worried anymore after seeing the calm in my demeanor. Naturally, she asked the reason for my ability to stay calm during a time such as now. I am not sure I have an ability to stay calm. Instead, I would say that I have a faith that gives me confidence and strength during such a tough time.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of our constantly share in death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10

Finding Some Understanding

Since being diagnosed, I have not dwelled on the reason for having this disease. My attitude has been pretty simple and straightforward. This is a challenge- not necessarily a disease. And, like any challenge, I am doing my research and devising my game plan to win.

However, lately my thinking has changed. I have started to think about this as a disease. I have started to think about the reason that God has put me in this position. Like I have mentioned to many people, I feel confident that this has occurred for a purpose. But, at this point, I do not know that specific purpose. Maybe I will not know that specific purpose until weeks, months, or years from now, but I am going to continue to look to God for that guidance.

Today, I had a conversation with one of my former teachers, Jim Hull. During the course of our talk, we discussed the possible reasons for me being inflicted with this disease. We threw out many hypotheticals. It was interesting to discuss why this occurred at one of the highest points in my life. Just weeks after becoming the School Board President, the disease started taking over my health. Was it just mere coincidence? Or, did I come into my position on the Board for a bigger reason?

Shortly after entering this process, I received the book "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On" from a family friend. I want to end this post with a passage that reflects my thoughts right now.

"If you are at a place in your life where you feel like you can't take one step without the Lord's help, be glad. He has you where He wants you. If you're wondering, 'Have I done something wrong?' the answer is most likely, 'No, you've done something right.' God has you on this path, no matter how difficult and impossible it may seem right now, because you are willing to follow Him. He wants to accomplish great things through you that can only come out of a life of faith. He wants your undivided attention because you can't do these things on your own. The path is not a punishment; it's a privilege. It's not a restriction; it's a reward."

A man's heart plans his way,

But the Lord directs his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

The Anticipation

Right now, I am sort of in a holding pattern. I am waiting on two things.

First, I have not had my typical chills and fevers the past couple of days. I have actually felt well enough to get out at times. While it is nice to experience some "good days," the feeling also leaves you wondering when the "bad days" will come again. Just like any life altering event, this disease has taught me to appreciate each day one at a time. Still, the fear of the unknown exist.

Second, I am waiting on my full diagnosis as well as the start of my treatment. With all of my tests complete, there is not much I can do between now and the end of the week. Dr. Fitch, the doctor that I saw at the beginning of this process, called this morning. While he is not a radiologist, he was able to take a look at the images from my tests last week. From his knowledge and perspective, he stated that the cancer is concentrated to my chest, and I am clean in areas such as my spleen, abdomen, pancreas, etc. Beyond medical talk, Dr. Fitch always makes sure to ask about mental state of my mind. With so much going on, I appreciate the little things like that...

Yesterday, I had the difficult task of breaking the news to my baseball team. It was the first time I had been to practice in quite a while. At the end, I took the boys aside. All in all, it went pretty well. I explained the treatment process, and the results it would have upon my health as well as my involvement with the team. I assured them that I would try to be at games and practices when possible, but the chemotherapy would not always allow it. There were a few funny questions like, "What are you going to do about your job with the school board?" and "What is the worst type of cancer?" 12 year olds can really ease the tension and put life into perspective. At the end, they all talked about shaving their heads. I told them to hold off for now.

A Good Day

Well, I woke up sore from the wounds of yesterday. I really do not think I could have avoided the pain. But, as I began to move more during the day, the pain began to decrease. More than anything, it was nice just to start a new day- a new day that did not involve hospitals and needles.

Around 9:30 a.m., I managed to walk awkwardly down the stairs. Initially, I was just going to go downstairs to find some yogurt and fruit for breakfast, but mom insisted on making me something more. Since I had an appetite, I let her cook away. I managed to take down some scrambled eggs, two pieces of toast, a piece of sausage, and a bowl of fruit. When I look back at my week, I consider this a fairly large size meal. Quite an accomplishment.

For the remainder of the day, I managed to enjoy the company of visitors and my family. Around 2:00, my brother Casey and one of his best friends, Jeff Montee, stopped by the house. We spent the next hour talking about several different things. It was nice to have a break from the usual routine.

Shortly after those guys left, I received a call from Brady. He had called last evening asking if he could stop by since he was going to be in town this weekend. Around a half an hour later, he showed up at my parent's along with Darrin Bragg, one of his teammates from Notre Dame. It was great to catch up with him. He has not changed a bit since our days in high school. Despite all the fame and success, he continues to be one of the most charismatic, genuine people that I have run across in my short life.

Finally, I decided that I needed to get out of the house. My little brother Cory had told me about a new video game based on NCAA Baseball. While I gave up video games over two years ago, I decided that I needed to add something new to my daily activities. So, he joined me for a ride to Best Buy. On the way home, I even stopped and bought him a burrito from Chiptole.

All in all, it was a good day.

Not One, But Two

Ok, I am willing to admit that I am in pain today.

Thankfully, I was able to eat breakfast before today's procedure. If I am able to eat breakfast, I typically have a small bowl of corn flakes followed by some fruit. Anyways, we left the house around eight o'clock. My mom drove as I sat silently listening to my iPod. As I sat in the passenger seat, I felt like I was motivating myself for a big game. I was determined not to let the thought of a needle going through my bone get to me...

Once at the doctor's office, I had several routine tests performed. My weight was down to 165 from 166 earlier in the week. It is amazing how I continue to drop weight. It is scary to think that my weight will only continue to drop as chemo starts.

After going through the routine tests, I went back into room #1. A nurse came in to draw blood and start my IV. Initially, she wanted to perform these actions separately, which did not make sense. We quickly asked for them to just insert the IV, take the blood from the IV, and then administer my drugs for the day. After some discussion, the nurse agreed. It never hurts to ask a question.

Shortly following the IV, Dr. Moore came in to the room. In order for him to perform the procedure, he needed to stick a needle into two spots in the bone right above my butt. So, the nurse helped me turn over on the bed. By the time he entered the room, I was already feeling drowsy from the drugs. In order to ensure that I was definitely drowsy, he had the nurse insert an additional dosage of the narcotic into my IV.

Before starting this process, he explained that he would be extracting bone marrow from two places- not one. In order to numb up the area, he spread some cream on my skin. Then, he administered a shot to numb my bone. However, he explained that this would not numb the bone fully. So, the process began. He stuck the needle into my bone. Naturally, the bone gives resistance to the needle, so he had to twist and turn with the needle in order for it to fully enter the bone. It is not a delightful moment to feel that needle grinding away at the bone.

Yet, I do not know what hurt the worst- the needle entering or the needle leaving the bone. When it left the bone, it made a pulling sensation all the way down my left leg. Luckily, I did not have the pulling sensation when he worked on the right side of my body.

A funny moment occurred during the procedure. In order to take my mind off the process, I continued to listen to my iPod. As Dr. Moore drove the needle into the right side of my body, I had the oddest song start to play: "Jesus Loves Me" by country singer Bobby Pinson. While I continue to be strong to my faith, I found irony in the playing of the song while I was going through such pain.

Now, I am miserable as I lay in bed. Despite the two bandages, I am suppose to lay on my butt. There is such an overwhelming discomfort. This pain is much worse than the slice in my neck from the biopsy last week. In addition to the pain, the drugs left me with a terrible hangover. When I came home, I walked straight up to my room and passed out.

Informed and Empowered

So last evening, I finished It's Not About the Bike, My Journey Back to Life by Lance Armstrong. Once I started reading it, I had a hard time putting it down. The book helped me on two levels. First, it was obviously inspirational. Second, it has helped me further develop an approach to become informed and empowered, so I can beat this disease. Anyways, I will continue to draw upon certain quotes and paragraphs from this book as this process continues forward.

"Anything's possible. You can be told you have a 90-percent chance or a 50-percent chance or a 1-percent chance, but you have to believe, and you have to fight. By fight I mean arm yourself with all the available information, get second opinions, third opinions, and fourth opinions. Understand what has invaded your body, and what the possible cures are. It's another fact of cancer that the more informed and empowered patient has a better chance of long-term survival."

Before being diagnosed, I began researching Hodgkin's disease. Even before we had the results from the first x-ray, I told my mom that I had Hodgkin's disease. I remember talking to her on my cell late at night after my school board meeting. Naturally, she did not want to believe me. She countered with the fact that my blood results were all healthy and my physical exam did not detect any enlarged lymph nodes. However, what I knew (that she did not) was that Hodgkin's is often found through x-rays due to the lymph nodes being in locations that are undetecable through blood analysis or physical exams.

Since that diagnosis, I have not stopped researching this disease. I am approaching it similar to school board, coaching, politics, baseball, or anything else that I do in my life. If I am going to perform at my highest level, I need to prepare myself with all my energy. Short cuts are not an option.

This started with general research of the disease and spread to the testing and diagnosis process. Next, I began to look into possible treatment methods. I wanted to know the traditional methods as well as possible clinical trials. Similarly, I wanted to know the best way to approach this with my diet. What should I eat and what should I avoid eating? Even more, I started to look into notable doctors as well as specialty hospitals for the disease.

I will continue to look for more information and ask questions. As I go through each appointment or test, I continually talk with my nurses and doctors. I want to know the reason for each step or action during this process. I want to be informed and empowered to beat this disease.

A Long Day of Tests

While I knew that I was going to have several tests today, I did not anticipate this being one of the harder days of the week. Well, I was wrong.

We left home a little after nine o'clock. Once we arrived at the hospital, we went to a waiting room to be checked-in for my heart test as well as my CT scans. After filling out the appropriate paperwork, I had a nurse approach me with a glass of a milky-looking drink as well as a bottle labeled "Fruit Smoothie." This bottle conveniently lacked a list of ingredients. As I began to drink it, I realized it was far from a fruit smoothie. This stuff smelled like fruit, but consisted of a thick, chalky taste. I had to force myself to drink this down. Let me point out, I was not able to eat or drink anything before I went to the hospital this morning, so I was sucking this stuff down on an empty stomach. My stomach is still upset (more than 5 hours later). Just to round out the paragraph- the purpose of this drink was to cover certain organs in my stomach, so that they were distinguishable under the CT scans.

While I was drinking the "Fruit Smoothie," I was pulled back into another room to get an IV started in my arm. From my understanding, the nurse removed a tube of blood from my body and mixed in some solution. After finishing the IV, I went back to the waiting room for twenty minutes. Then, I went in for my heart tests. It was pretty simple. They just laid me down on table and hooked up some cords to my body. Over the course of fifteen minutes, they used the cords and an imaging machine to monitor my heart. Once this concluded, I returned back to the waiting room.

After a half an hour and some more "Fruit Smoothie," I was taken back to CT scan room. First, the nurse reinserted my blood back into my body through the IV. Then, she took some images. Next, she hooked up an iodine dye bag to my IV. Similar to the "Fruit Smoothie," the iodine dye is suppose to highlight certain things in your body during the CT scan imaging. It is an unreal feeling when the iodine dye starts to enter your body. You immediately get a metal-like taste in your mouth. Then, your whole body gets very warm. The nurse told me that over the years they have improved the iodine dye process. People use to throw up once it started to enter their body.

Lastly, we went down to the Pulmonary Department. I was to end the day with test on my lungs. As we sat in the waiting room, it sounded like the nurse was coaching the patients to give birth during the tests. All you could hear were things like "big breath, big breath, exhale" or "harder, harder, you are almost there." When I got into the room, she had me do a number of tests by breathing into a tube that was connected to a machine. I figured this would be simple- but it took me a number of tries to complete the tests properly.

As we walked out of the hospital, I was ready to fall asleep. On a positive note, I had a great conversation with an older guy named Brennan. I will write about it later when I have more energy. What a long day of tests.

Your Past Forms You

Last evening, I started reading Lance Armstrong's It's Not about the Bike, My Journey Back to Life. I am going to start writing a paragraph each day about something that hits me in the book.

"People die. That truth is so disheartening that at times I can't bear to articulate it. Why should we go on, you might ask? Why don't we all just stop and lie down where we are? But there is another truth, too. People live. It's an equal and opposing truth. People live, and in the most remarkable ways. When I was sick, I saw more beauty and triumph and truth in a single day than I ever did in a bike race- but they were human moments, not miraculous ones. I met a guy in a fraying sweatsuit who turned out to be a brilliant surgeon. I became friends with a harassed and overscheduled nurse named LaTrice, who gave me such care that it could only be the result of the deepest sympathetic affinity. I saw children with no eyelashes or eyebrows, their hair burned away by chemo, who fought with the hearts of Indurians. I still do not completely understand it. All I can do is tell you what happened"

People keep on saying, "Why did this have to happen to you?" My response is simple: it can happen to anyone. Honestly, I do not get caught up asking myself that question. Heck, there are people in far worse situations than I am right now. I haven't been laying around depressed about this news. It has happened. It is not going to go away by feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I am making it a challenge. This disease won't beat me.

"Your past forms you, whether you like it or not. Each encounter and each experience has its own effect."

-Lance Armstrong-

Starting the Battery of Tests

Well, I woke up again this morning at 4:01. When I wake up, it is almost humorous to look at the clock to find the time (It always seems to be around this time in the morning). I did not have much time to get back to sleep. After laying around for a little while, I snuck-in about an hours worth of sleep before waking up around 6:30.

Today, I had a PET Scan (Positron Emission Tomography). The setup of a PET Scan is very similar to a CT Scan. You lay down on a bed that moves you in and out of a tube while images are taken of your body. However, before I was able to lay down on the bed, I had an IV inserted into my left arm (I am getting use to alternating arms these days). After the IV was inserted, the nurse injected me with a radioactive/glucose solution. Cancer cells feed off of sugar, so this solution helped highlight any additional cancer cells in my body. Let's hope the rest of this scan turned out clean...

A funny story at the doctor's office... As my mom and I were sitting in the room discussing the procedure, the nurse looked up at me funny. She recognized me as that "young guy on the Dublin school board." She remembered seeing me on t.v. last month when I was sworn in as school board president. Honestly, I take all the notoriety from the school board in stride, but it is quite funny when someone recognizes me. She joked about being around a local celebrity (quite a stretch). Let's just say that this conversation helped me forget that I was being injected with a radioactive solution.

While the pain and sickness is unbearable at times, I really want to make a strong effort to get myself out of the house more often. Doctor Moore from Grant even encouraged me to get out when possible. After getting back from the test today, I followed my mom to the car dealership, so she could get her tires changed and alignment reset. Once we were finished at the car dealership, I went to the bank to deposit a paycheck. Now, I know this all sounds trivial, but it becomes significant as I conclude the paragraph. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. I had hardly even moved, yet my body was fatigued. I just want to stress the effects this disease can have on the body.

Feeling Better

Well, I have been feeling a little better over the past couple days. Like I have mentioned, the symptoms come and go randomly. I had the chills, but I did not go into a fever last night. It is all about the small things.

I am still struggling with my sleeping. I woke up around 4:04 this morning. On the bright side, I did not go through any night sweats up til this point in the evening. After about 45 minutes, I was able to start sleeping again. This time around I was not as lucky- when I woke up around nine, the night sweats had gotten me. Such a bizarre feeling...

I have been overwhelmed by the amount of phone calls, emails, notes, gifts, visits, etc. I do not want to isolate specific people for fear of not seeming thankful to everyone. But, I had a few extraordinary things happen to me yesterday.

First, during the middle of the afternoon, I had a bunch of food delivered from close friends of the family. I must say that I have not had this much home-cooked food in a long time.

Next, one of the mother's from the baseball team sent me a basket full of goodies from the Sugar Tin. I was touched, not by the actual gifts, but by the mere thought of her taking the time to send me something.

Third, one of my bosses from the lobbying firm and my roommate paid me a visit during the evening. It was nice to see some farmiliar faces. My roommate brought me a bunch of my clothes. I cannot tell you how important comfortable clothing can be when you are laying around all day. Even more, a bunch of the political guys chipped-in and got me a Nano Ipod as well as a gift certificate to purchase songs or audio books. I am going to spend a greater part of today trying to figure this thing out.

Lastly, I received an email this morning from one of my former players from Olentangy. I have coached him during the fall baseball season over the past couple of years. I was amazed that someone so young could say such inspiring stuff. He sent me some scripture that I am going to finish this posting with...

Psalms 30:2 O lord my god, I called to you for help and you healed me.

Isaiah 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Jeremiah 33:6 Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and let them enjoy abundant peace and security.

God Bless,
CV

Tentative Game Plan

Well, here is the latest update...

The oncologist at Grant officially diagnosed my condition as Hodgkin's disease. Now, he has to diagnose the stage in order to prescribe the appropriate treatment. Like I guessed, he thinks that it is Stage II. Still, we need to get specific. As a result, I get to go through a battery of tests this week.

• This morning they withdrew 5 or 6 tubes of blood.
• On Wednesday, I get a PET scan (I guess its similiar to a CT scan).
• On Thursday, I have CT scans over the rest of my body in addition to test on my lungs, heart, and some other test that I do not understand.
• On Friday, I have bone-marrow extraction (not really looking forward to this one)

Then, next week, I get to have a "port" inserted into my chest, so that I have readily accessible point for an IV. The "port" is inserted, so that they do not tear up the veins in my arms during this process. I am not sure if I should be excited about this port or not?

Now, let's get to the actual treatment. Like I mentioned above, the tests this week will determine the exact treatment. As of right now, the course of action will be 4 cycles of chemotherapy. One cycle equals two weeks. I would receive chemo in this sort of sequence: 1st day, 14th day, 28th day, etc. In a best case scenario , the chemotherapy would last a total of eight weeks. However, it is possible for my treatments to get delayed if my white or red blood counts are low. In addition, I could receive radiation treatment upon the conclusion of the chemotherapy. The doctor did say that my symptoms would start going away within two weeks of starting chemotherapy- a bit of good news.

Again, we are moving through this process pretty fast. If it were not for my mom working at Grant, it would have probably taken us until the beginning of March just to get in for this initial meeting. Right now, I am aiming at the first of March as the start of chemotherapy.

Despite this meeting, we are still waiting on a call back from a Dr. at the James Cancer Hospital at OSU. Unless something falls through, I will be going there to get a second opinion. I do not anticipate this delaying the whole process.

Well, it should be an exciting week with all these tests.

Up Late

Typically, I try to go to bed around 9:30/10:00. My body just seems to be fatigued by this point in the evening. However, I am not lucky enough to sleep straight through the night. Often, I catch a few hours of sleep at a time. As a result, I get bored as can be when I wake up at this time in the morning (4:45). So, I have decided to designate this time for writing.

Today was similar to yesterday. I did not feel as bad through out the course of the day. Instead, I had one time tougher than the others. From 4:00 to 7:00 p.m., I was running a 100.6 temperature. (Whenever I get a fever, I am usually around the 101 mark.) I cannot begin to describe the feeling of relief when the fever breaks. I can actually feel it happening. Oddly enough, it is actually a high point in my day when it occurs.

After my fever broke, I was able to eat a little bit more. I have been told that I need to start eating more healthy, organic foods in anticipation of possible chemotherapy. I am starting to make a conscious effort. However, its pretty hard for me to do this for a couple of reasons. First, my natural love for sweets. And, second, my decreased appetite. Nonetheless, I was able to eat some spaghetti, a small piece of cheesecake, and some strawberries for dinner.

Luckily, I was able to go to bed comfortably this evening. It was not something forced by a fever. However, when I woke up around 1:30, my night sweats were driving me insane. My body was shaking like I was outside in the winter cold. All I could do was regroup my covers, cover myself up, and sleep the shakes away.

The word is getting out in the community. People wonder if I care if they pass on the news- and I am thankful for them respecting my privacy. If anything, I would encourage them to pass the news at this point. As I tell people, I know that I have not accomplished so much, so early in my life through my own human ability. God has been with me the whole way- even now. I feel confident that he put me in this position for a reason. My hope is that through my struggle I am able to bring further awareness to Hodgkin's disease as well as other cancer's.

As some of you may know, I have been coaching a travel baseball team in Dublin for the past two years. Today, I passed the news on to all the parents. I decided it would be best to break the news to the boys once a treatment plan was set in stone. Needless to say, these were some of my toughest phone calls. I truly enjoy my life in politics, but my true love is coaching. I feel like each boy on the team is a little brother. It is tough enough already missing practices, but it will be even tougher when I have to miss games. I am thankful for this group of parents as well as my dad and brother who are helping pick up my slack while I am down.

Lastly, I want to thank everyone for their continual notes, thoughts, emails, prayers, etc.

" Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemed thy life from destruction; who crowned thee with loving-kindness and tender mercies."- Psalm 103:1-4

God Bless,
CV

Good Days and Bad Days

It is important to understand the symptoms that are associated with Hodgkin's Disease. Initially, I thought I just had the flu. For the first few days, I went through the chills and fevers. Then, the symptoms started to go away. However, soon enough, the symptoms were randomley reoccuring again. The symptoms were even more odd due to the fact that they typically occured during the evening. On top of chills and fevers, I have had a loss of appetite, drenching night sweats, and itching all over my body.

Even after my biopsy, there is not a whole lot that can be done to stop these different symptoms until I start going through treatment. As a result, I am pretty much at the mercy of my body and the disease. Some days are good. Some days are bad. Today, I have had a terrible day. I have had chills and a mild fever for the greater part of the afternoon and evening. In addition, my appetite has been pretty small today.

Right now, I am typically sleeping for 4-5 hours at a time. I am not sure if this is just due to the disease or anxiety. Regardless, I am sitting here wishing that I could sleep the pain away.

God Bless,
CV

Starting my blog

Over the past few days, I realized that I am going to need to update a large amount of people on my health. I am not sure that I will always be able to do that through a phone call or email, so I figured I would create this blog as a central source of information.

Right now, I am playing the waiting game. I know I have Hodgkin's disease- I just do not know the stage. I have a Dr.'s appt on Monday with one of the best oncologist at Grant. In addition, we are looking at getting at second and third opinions. It seems likely that I will end up at the OSU's James Cancer Hospital for a visit. I am thankful for all the help and connections that are being provided for me.

The incision on my neck from the biopsy isn't that sore anymore. Still, it can be uncomfortable as I move in my sleep. O well, I get to take a shower today- something I was not allowed to do yesterday. Naturally, you start to smell over a day, but its even worse for me. I continue to have cold sweats at night. Needless to say, this doesn't help my body odor.

My uncle came down from Canton to visit last evening. He is pretty high up in the medical community. It was nice of him to drive down to Columbus. Besides talking with me about the road ahead, he left me a few books- notably, Lance Armstrong books. As I adjust to being less active, I am sure that my reading will pick up quite a bit.

Well, I am going to go back to relaxing and watching T.V. My dog's are keeping me company on my bed. I think they are getting a bit impatient with me focusing on the computer.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

God Bless,
CV